Friday, April 01, 2005
de announcement on de 3 mths jc thingy.. aarghs.presurrizing. de exams r so near n im nower near prepared.. many decisions to make. n it dosen help either tt i dun have a clue of wat i relli wanna be.. medicine?business?media marketing?sheeshness.my scope is not wide enuff.. wen i wus younger i used to have shoooo many big dreams.i wanted to be an inventor.. yesh de inventions i had thought of wus air-conditiond clothes! nice idea but rather impossible actually.. n i wanted to be a nurse.a teacher.. butden i realise tt i dun have any passion for dose things..den again wat dO i lyk?gawd.
my dad always talked to me abt thinking biG..think out of de box.... made me listen to all dose motivational cDs [tt i cud nvr set aside time to listen to] ..buden i jus cant seem to set my goals rite.. i need to be studyin hard.. but i oso need to have an aim to go fur.. aaaahhhss.. feelin damn low.bought de career guide bk. thinkin it wud help. but it diden relli.. still clueless. haish.wish i wus back in my pri sch days wen i nvr even have 2 tink of such big decisions. buden again, tis is onlie a minor decison as compared to wen i reach adulthood later.
okok..lyk all dose motivational cDs tt says tt u must think positive n always tell urself I like myself.I like myself. woah...im feelin better alredi! sheeshness..but relli, tinkin positif dus helps sum tyms.all dose big hopes my parents have fur me n my sis.other ppl's family have relatives tt dey cud be proud of. dos hu made it to Uni or dos wif high-end jobs or sumthin.i dunt.n tt makes it even stressful cos my sis n i r de ones hu r xpected to at least make a name fur our family. but in reality, i dun tink tt will happen fur me.i do count my lucky stars to haf such a gr8 family n haf such a comfy life..but tt's even scarier.im afraid i mite dissappoint dem. wish i cud haf made better decisions in de past. wuden feel empty lyk tis if i had.gawd.tym flies too fast.
